Friday, November 16, 2012

Shit just got real for the Honeybadger....

So the honeybadger has been having some issues this school year as far as behavior goes. He's a pretty spirited child, full of energy, wit, sarcasm, and mouthiness. He's sweet as sugar when he wants to be, and cute as a button, so he thinks at times he can get by with anything. He has constant issues with being loud, and is constantly being told at home and school to be quiet, stop yelling, etc. I have no idea where this loud part comes from...I mean, it's not like I was chosen for speaking roles in our schools PTA plays based on the fact that i was just, well, good at projecting my voice :). He also has the inability to walk in the hallways. Always running. Turning circles. Walking backwards, and then into someone who has stopped. Sliding across the walls. Anything but what he's supposed to be doing. Same thing in class, up, down, up, down, not in his seat, not correctly in his seat so he falls in the floor, not keeping his hands to himself.

This has been a constant battle, and one that I want to nip in the bud now before he ends up a 3rd grader and still doing this stuff, landing him in the office everyday. I hate to see this kids' behavior report come home everyday with frowning faces on it. Frowning faces means his color chart at school has changed from green (good) to a not so good color. This week it's been red, a lot. It makes me sad, and I have no idea how to fix it. We have tried all kinds of things. It's most frustrating I think because he knows HOW to behave. He knows the rules, he knows what is right and wrong, he can tell you those things, and he can tell you what he is supposed to be doing instead. But he has ZERO self control when it matters. He even had a super good day about two weeks ago, where he got all smiles on his report, and they made him star student of the day. Made this huge deal about it, made him feel special and awesome. But the next day....back to the regularly scheduled honeybadger. I should mention this kid is usually good at home, the issues seem to be at school. He gives me lip, and attitude, but for the most part at home he's well behaved. He has some 5 year old moments, but when he's told to tighten up, he does. I don't know why he can't manage to do this at school.

Like I said we have tried all kinds of stuff (and are open to any and all suggestions). The kid loves his cartoons right before bed, we've taken those away, we've taken away the whole tv. We've stopped visits to his Papaw's house because that is his most favorite thing ever, and he tends to get away with so much there sometimes and be treated like royalty regardless. He hates having that taken away from him, but not enough to change his behavior for any length of time. We've taken all his favorite toys, made him help bag them up, and put them away, telling him he has to earn them back. He hasn't. We talk to him, tell him why we're doing what we're doing, he understands, and he says he knows he has to be good at school too, he just doesn't seem to care. This past Tuesday he had a rough day at school, and daycare in the afternoon on top of that. His sister got to go play bingo at the Moose, while him and I went home. We'd told him that until he gets his act together there would be no fun for him. That he was going to put in work for the amount of misbehaving he does, and that all things fun in his world would be gone. I took him home, fed him dinner, and then he swept, he mopped, and he washed all the dishes. "Mopping is fun mom" he said. I told him (half jokingly in my mind) that it was good he felt that way, because if he kept on acting up at school he'd clean the whole kitchen floor with a toothbrush..."can I do that now mom?" he says. *this is me pulling my hair out*.

Last night after parent/teacher conferences, and a whole week of bad behavior reports, we packed up all of his toys, and made him help. All of them. His room now consists of a bed, a dresser, and a bookshelf with books. That's all he's got. Even packing them up he didn't act all that concerned. At one point he said it made him sad, but he wasn't acting sad about it at all. Then we loaded them into the truck, and were on our way to take them to the in-laws. I meant it when I said he'd have to earn them back, and if they're not in the house, he can't get to them at all. So we load them up, we're driving, and he's chit chatting away. C and I start talking and Honeybadger gets real quiet for a while. All of a sudden he pipes up with his mad voice and loudly states that HE is playing the quiet game, and goes about pouting with his chin in his hand, propped up on the carseat arm. That's the moment that I think this stuff got real for him. I think he realized in that moment that we were 210% serious. That all of his fun was really going away. He still wasn't thrilled when we unloaded them into the in-laws basement. I hope he's unthrilled enough to get his act together. I'm at a loss as to what else to do from here if this doesn't work, short of hanging him up by his little toes. (JOKING!)

This is just a phase....this is just a phase...this is just a phase....a really long one.........or so they say. "They" also say that I should just keep telling myself this. I'm not sure at what point it goes from being just a phase, to being something else, but I hope it's over soon.


  1. It sounds like he may have ADHD, my daughter has it and it sounds just like her. We have also taken all her things away and it doesn't matter, she physically can't control herself. I'd talk to the pediatrician and see what he/she says.

  2. Oh my, you just described what is going on at my house with my son! He has severe ADD and is suspected of being on the spectrum. Basically it means he doesn't live on the same plane as the rest of us. We don't medicate, we just endure. He is a great kid, but school is quite a rollercoaster. He has been on an IEP for his ADD and his behavior issues since the beginning of first grade, and it has helped (kindergarten was a NIGHTMARE!)

    I don't know if that's what is going on with your son because I'm not a teacher or a doctor or his mother (and moms ALWAYS know best, thank you very much.) If you need someone to talk to who is going through the same thing, please don't hesitate to leave a comment on my blog! :-) I found your blog through the Friday Blog Hop, by the way!

    I'm curious how this is working-I've never tried what you did, but it sounds logical to me. Making him accountable for his behavior may just be the ticket. We've taken away the important stuff to my son (DS, TV privileges, etc) and it doesn't really seem to make much of a difference. Sigh.... It's rough being a mom!

  3. I agree with Kraus House Mom because I seriously thought you were talking about my house! My son does the same and (don't judge please) even when swatted actually ASKED for more and didn't cry. I had him on ADHD medication (non stimulant) for 2 years with a psychiatrist that my pediatrican set me up with and they worked with me on costs. I decided this past summer I would ween him off since he wasn't in school and we have been able to not have to go back taking them anymore. He still has his moments but I promise you I am happier, things will get better for you, it does take time though.

    My list of things tried before medication: Vitamin E and C, no change. Taking away everything he owns to play with, change a LITTLE until he got something back and then behavior right back to before. Swats (spanking)listed above. Ignoring it, he just got louder and LOUDER until I thought I was going to go nuts. Sending him to therapy with a psychologist, nothing against the guy but he had NO clue what I was going through or what to do with my son. So yeah, I tried and can understand your frustration! Good luck!